So, after the race today I came home and harvested a ton of Orem potatoes, a.k.a. rocks. I'm getting the garden area ready for planting. It's been neglected for the past couple of years due to having a dog and my having little time to work on a garden. I even went to the garden shop and bought a bunch of vegetables to go in the garden: tomatoes, peppers (hot and sweet), pumpkin, spaghetti squash, zucchini, cucumber, carrots, marigolds. Darn! I forgot the onions. I guess another trip is in order.
I also went over to my brother in laws house and sat in the drag racer. I think drag racing will become my new sport. I will rock at drag racing!
Oh, do you get the idea that I'm avoiding blogging about the race today? Hmmm....I wonder why?
I stink at this bike racing thing. My first mistake today, and this is no excuse, was that I didn't warm up. I knew I needed a good, long warm up, but time was up before I knew it. I had high hopes for this race. After all, it was only 30 minutes long. I knew I could suffer for 30 minutes. But I was off the back by lap three. I thought I could catch back on, but it wasn't happening. Next time, I will warm up!
While I was out there racing I said to myself, "There comes a time when you've just got to say to yourself that you're not cut out for this racing thing. That time is today."
So, I guess I have a decision to make. I can continue to race and see if improvements happen. Continuing racing means suffering for, at times, nothing but disappointment with an occasional thrill of betterment.
Or, I can become a recreational rider. I've really wanted to participate at Little Red Riding Hood this year, but haven't planned on it since it's on a race day. The problem with my becoming a recreational rider is that I don't know that I would really ever find time to go out and ride. I have to be training for something to be motivated.
Anyhow, for now my decision is that I'm going to give another couple of races a try and see what happens before I make a final decision. How decisive is that?
The End
2 years ago
7 comments:
Don't be so hard on yourself. This year Women's 4 is really competetive. And, like Laura P said yesterday, so much of crits is just luck. When the Jr.s started taking off you missed going because you were watching the women. Which, since they were your competitors, was the right thing to do. All it takes is that one split second and you're off.
Also, you still beat every girl that didn't come out to race yesterday because it was too cold, or too scary or etc, etc. Every single girl that did race yesterday is dang good on a bike. You have no reason to feel bad about your performance!
Like me, you might be better suited for road races instead of crits. I love/hate crits because of the tight groups and high speeds.
Plus, I really hate it that RMR does not have a race where you ladies can race to win. It's pretty much impossible for you gals to beat the strong Cat 4 and 5 guys in the C Flight. Getting dropped and having a little practice time can't be as much fun as it would be to have a win dangling in front of you.
The open road, though I'm still not good at it, is where I think I can be most successful.
Show up at Bear Lake, warm up long and give it a go.
And, just as I clicked submit I remembered something -- I didn't even show up to race Saturday because I had soccer/dance/life scheduled all morning. So I did the rec rider thing and logged 50 miles over Suncrest and back to the SL Valley.
It's not all black and white, this or that, all or nothing. At least for me.
I say take a break and do some fun rides then mix it up again. Some years are race years and some years are fun years but the best years are a healthy mixture of both.
NO! I will NOT accept you quitting. I am sorry to be so harsh but I stand by my words!!! I have been racing since 2006 and was ALWAYS last or 2nd last for 2 years. I cannot tell you how many times I have cried and cried and felt sorry for myself. How manytime I have just said "fuck it. I'm a fat cyclist, can't hang with the ladies so I may as well eat and eat and drink too much wine and give up." This year is the first year I have hung onto the pack for an entire race (Triple Valley RR.) Why? because I have to accept that I am a sprinter/power rider. As someone has been telling me latel, "Brandi, you are a crit racer whether you accept it or not. At your weight and height, you will NEVER win the Snowbird hill climb, for example." It was hard to hear, but damn true. But, I can become a great sprinter. I also have the capacity to TT like a beast eventually. This is what wins stage races and this is what I want to do someday.
The only way to become a better racer is to race and race and race; to suffer the disspapointment when it seems EVERYONE is better than you, that they make it look so G-damn easy!
There will always be people faster, thinner, stronger, prettier, smarter, richer, able to tolerate more pain than you, than all of us, But, there comes a time when all of our suffering, tears and hardwork pay off.
I have been told that I seem like a slow responder. It takes 5-10 year of CUMULATIVE training and racing for one to reach his or her potential in cycling. THen, unlike men, we women hold that peak for a LOOOONG time. Into our 40s if we like. (Look up Jeannie Longo, look are Laura Howat! A pro/Cat 1 forever. I look up to her. Look at Laura Patten, a Cat 4 for 4 years!!!! Then she was a Cat 3...and then she f-ing exploded! Look are her domination so far as a NEW Cat 2? Look at the past results of the guys on our team. They did not start off as amazing as they are now.)
So, everyyear I think "These better-than-me ladies will cat up soon so I finally have a chance!" But, every year there are more women trickling in that are better. This is good because we will push ourselves more to get better and eventually we will be the handfull of strong ones kicking ass.
Laura Howat said that to get good at racing we HAVE to do the RMRs and DMVs. She is right, I didn't believe her, but she is right. I have never pushed so hard. I had an asthma attack during the first RMR where I stayed in the pack towards the front! But, I hid it and pushed on. I felt so damn good about myself. Thus, hanging with the boys gives me hope that one day I will slam the women. Does this sound cocky? No, it is confidence that if I don't give up I will triumph. So will you.
We spend so much time, money and emotions on this sport. Go back and read a post when I talk about "Lessons Learned Albeit the Hard Way." I think I know who wrote that. It is from, I think, a man on our team who believes in our strength, the Cat 4s.
You have to be in love with the racing to stick with it. Like any true relationship, we will fucking hate it, hate ourselves for fucking up, love it, become obsessed with it, take joy in it, up and down and up and down.
I am at the point where I want to stop racing this year and just ride centuries, etc. Just ride alone and get stronger on my own. But, deep inside I know that will depress me. Seeing you all pushing while I'm whimping out. Being in our kits and showing up in force makes me feel invincible in a race/training. I whink of you all when I am off the back and tell myself, "I HAVE to push it and do well for them if I can't do it for myself." "Ski Utah must give it everything!"
We will be Cat3s soon, then we'll be Cat2s. My dream for our team is like Patrick's dream for him and the guys: to have an elite team of Cat1s and 2s. We can travel to NRC races and the like.
If you are burnt out like me right now, take a break. I have not ridden enough since Tax Day because I feel like I suck ass. I am not, however, giving up because I know that that is not true.
The best words when I felt defeated came from a teammate after SNSR: He said "Racing will NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER get easier. You will just get faster." He believes in me, why shouldn't I too?
BG
Thanks, everyone!
I am feeling much better about things today. So good in fact, that I was able to joke about my poor performance with my class this morning. I made sure to give them a good warm up while I told them how important warm up really is.
I really do think that it was the lack of warm up that did it to me. I don't know why I had decided it wasn't as important as it is.
I went out with my team for a workout later, and I made sure to warm up before we rode. What a difference in my performance! I had been really down on myself, and I wasn't sure I would go to the team training, but I am so glad that I did. It was a real confidence booster.
I will continue to try to race.
I will try not to suck so bad in the future.
I won't give up!
Slippery, Side Table Drawer, Shovel, Pail and Blue are soooooo proud of you.
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